You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Randomize
