I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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