ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
