I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
