So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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