Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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