Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
