when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
