Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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