No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I havenโt trained for this.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize