apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
