His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
