what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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