This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
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We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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