this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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