I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
