apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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