ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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