I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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