i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize