Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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