I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
