I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
