When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
