Me. At least after what I've been through.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Two words: blizzard sex
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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