i already hear my dad disowning me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
