So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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