i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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