Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize