is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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