watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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