'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
