He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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