are you still at the devil's house?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my being single is dangerous.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
