just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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