They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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