dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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