this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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