Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
