Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
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I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
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His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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