sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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