Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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