shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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