that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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