awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
