my being single is dangerous.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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