im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize