He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
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Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
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Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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