I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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