can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
