how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
