Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
