i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You may now shotgun with the bride
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
