A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize