dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
