Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
