I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
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I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
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But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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