Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
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I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
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He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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