you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
